Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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