Non-Jews are for practice
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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