i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
