mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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