Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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