is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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