"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
