Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
