so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
