i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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