so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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