I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
