I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
