Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
