At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
