I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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