do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
