That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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