i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think your dad took our porno
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize