epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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