I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
