Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
