I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
