just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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