She's the barista slut.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
