I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This baby is an asshole
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
