Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize