yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
