i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
