i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
