I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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