Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
