You work out of a Hotel?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
