I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
