My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
