Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
