its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
