dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
