Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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