My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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