You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
