but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
