I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
