If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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