Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
