He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
