spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
