I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
