yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
