I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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