I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
