Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
