let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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