My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
