u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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