i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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