the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize