I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
