Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize