We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
