Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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