dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
