My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
