I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You've changed since you got that strap on
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
