If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
