Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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